Sunday, September 18, 2011

When hope is lost . . .

Everyone in the TTC community knows the sadness and brokenhearted feelings associated with the short phrase "cd 1."  It's a phrase that makes 31 days (give or take) seem like a waste of time . .. of prayer . . . of hope.  This cd 1 is especially painful since it falls on the anniversary of my mother's death.  Where can I find hope in this?   After being off birth control for 20 months, timed sex for 13 months, herbs, vitamins, preseed, instead cups, fertility monitors, bbt charting, praying and hoping, we've finally come to the conclusion that we can't do this on our own.  Mr. A already has an appointment scheduled that we set up a month ago.  I'm going to get myself checked out as well.  Although testing for me is significantly more expensive with my insurance and my doctor suggested we wait to get his results first, I'd prefer that we both get checked out together.  Even if something is going with him, that doesn't mean everything is clear on my end.  Why wait?

So I suppose I'm still hoping.  Still hoping that someday Mr. A and I will have a little one of our own.


  1. Hi there,

    I just wanted to thank you for stopping by my lil blog this morning. I just wanted to come visit you! :)

    I know a couple of people going through the same thing as you. It takes INCREDIBLE strength - know that I admire that about you. I'll send up a little prayer (or cross my fingers depending on what you believe in) ;) for you.

    Hope you're having a good day!

  2. Not sure what to say that is not trite or annoying. Stay strong in each other and keep the faith.

  3. Don't lose hope! I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

    By the way, thanks for stopping by my blog...I am following you back :)

  4. It is really emotionally draining to raise your hopes up and be disappointed month after month. Thank you for being so honest in your posts! It's not easy for everyone and it's nice to know you're not alone in struggling to get pregnant. Good luck!