When hope is lost . . .

Everyone in the TTC community knows the sadness and brokenhearted feelings associated with the short phrase "cd 1."  It's a phrase that makes 31 days (give or take) seem like a waste of time . .. of prayer . . . of hope.  This cd 1 is especially painful since it falls on the anniversary of my mother's death.  Where can I find hope in this?   After being off birth control for 20 months, timed sex for 13 months, herbs, vitamins, preseed, instead cups, fertility monitors, bbt charting, praying and hoping, we've finally come to the conclusion that we can't do this on our own.  Mr. A already has an appointment scheduled that we set up a month ago.  I'm going to get myself checked out as well.  Although testing for me is significantly more expensive with my insurance and my doctor suggested we wait to get his results first, I'd prefer that we both get checked out together.  Even if something is going with him, that doesn't mean everything is clear on my end.  Why wait?

So I suppose I'm still hoping.  Still hoping that someday Mr. A and I will have a little one of our own.

Fall Cleaning

Dust Dust Dust . . . . Sweep Sweep Sweep . . . Clean Clean Clean

Oh my . . . if I treated my house like this blog, I'd be living in a dust bowl.

I guess when nothing is really happening on the TTC journey, you don't want to remind yourself.  My husband and I on got on the TTC train thinking we were on the express, only to learn we are taking the local.  We are in the midst of month numero 13 of trying to conceive.  I would have sooner believed you if you told me that I would grow a third eye. 

In the meantime, we've done what we can to just keep on chugging along on this journey.  Our stop might be next week or it might be next year. Who really knows.  What we do know is we're gonna ride this train until we get to our ticketed destination . . . Parenthood.